The Wandering Lion
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The navigation links above may be used at any time to navigate the website. Some pages have photo essays or galleries associated with the pages that open in a new window. In order to see the photos you must first navigate to the page using the link above and then select the photo essay or gallery from the body text of the page.

Samsung Website

Ali Baba's CaveLike Ali Baba’s cave, the Samsung website promises riches and delights that surpass all imagination. Even if you only want to have your dead cell phone repaired, you are tempted by the latest in goodies and gadgets and all manner of coolisms and neatos. All of this awaits the successful adventurer who can penetrate the inner reaches of this labyrinthian catacomb. But watch out! Lurking in the background are buzzards of doom and frustration who are only to happy to turn a delightful excursion into [echo] THE WEBSITE FROM HELL.

Open Sesame افتح يا سمسم (iftah yā simsim)

Apologies may be in order for the Arabic in the heading of this item. It appears “left to right” in my Dreamweaver Design View but “right to left” in a browser. I’m assuming that the browser and Wikipedia (that provided the Arabic) knows what the score is.

The first problem in accessing the website is Authentication or in layman’s terms, logging on. I had apparently already established an account at the Samsung sight but didn’t remember the password. I went through the customary password reset via email—three times. I use lengthy and obfuscated passwords generated by a password tool and each time I reset the password the website truncated the password without notice. Logging on now failed because the truncated password (actually probably a salted hash, but that’s another discussion) failed to compare with the full password (actually another salted hash) that I provided. I kept shortening the password until the website finally got it right.

Quickly Discovered Defects

It doesn’t take long to develop a long list of defects for the Samsung website. I started such a list but finally gave up when I noticed there was no way for me to communicate to the webmaster; this tells me that they aren’t really interested in learning about the website defects so I decided not to bother. It’s just one more example of some really poor customer service attitudes that will eventually sink this company into the oblivion of the Motorolas and Nokias.

Enough. This is really depressing. I’ll bet they paid a lot of money for that website perhaps even to the same fools who built the Affordable Care website.

Navigation From Hell

I've already mentioned the fact that links with the same wording go to different places. Navigation in general is apparently the work of a master sadist or perhaps a person incapable of rational thought and design. It is slap-dash to say the least; a programmatic colostomy (bags of shit hanging on bags of shit) that has no logical cohesion or rational behavior.


The point of the exercise was to secure service for my deceased cell phone. I finally discovered a page that purported to submit a service request. I did so, or tried to. After one or two attempts I had to give up. I never got a response from the submit and there seemed to be no indication that anything was happening to advance my quest.

A little more lube and I was ready for the next phase of corporate penetration.

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